Resting, surrendering, and lubricating those joints!
- Leanne
- Oct 19
- 7 min read
I used to think that getting well was about being less lazy. Pushing through the pain and fatigue, ignoring what my body was saying, powering on despite how ill I was feeling. Then my body sat me down in my early twenties and said (it actually screamed at me!) absolutely not. I was in bed for 22 plus hours of every day. Desperate to get better, desperate to be living, desperate to just be me again. And yet the more I pushed, the worse I felt. At the time, grading and pacing were recommended for chronic fatigue. I tried. I really did. But each time I edged over my limit, even a little, I got worse, but finding my threshold felt impossible. So I learned the slow way that getting well, for me, was not a test of willpower. I needed to listen to my body and give it what it needed.
Listening sounds easy until you live with pain and fatigue. You spend years trying to tune it out, disconnecting from your body and how awful it feels, because how else do you get through the day? You box it up. You numb it out. You carry on. Then someone says listen to your body and you just don't know how to connect to it again. At Mobilates we are always talking about staying within your limits and working with your body, in a positive, loving way, not against it. I also know there are days when it is messy. Sometimes you do the thing anyway. You go to the retreat, you lift the bag, you sit upright for longer than is sensible on a wobbly day, you teach a class when you should probably be horizontal, because you still deserve to live. You accept that you might pay for it, and you choose it with eyes open, or at least half open.
Recently, I had an infection that went on my heart. Properly scary. You would think that would have made me sensible overnight. You would think with my previous illness experiences and time teaching chronically ill people I would know exactly what to do! It didn't. My brain said, I'll be fine, I will just teach Bed Pilates. I will just answer a few emails. I will just tidy the spreadsheet, tweak the website, send the thing that only I can send. Every just was a tiny weight added to a body that needed its energy for healing. I kept disbelieving myself. Surely it can't be that bad. Surely I can do this one little task. The truth was, I was ill. A member of Da Mob said the words I needed to hear: you need to surrender to being ill. Let it be. Do things that ill people do. That did not include replying to messages or catching up on finances.
So I tried to listen to the advice I'd give a member. I tried sleeping when my body asked for sleep. Eating as simply as possible. Porridge with water became my weird comfort (you get used to it). Piles of fruit and veg. Seeds on everything. Chocolate that made me smile, currently Lindor Pistachio balls if you need a recommendation. Epsom salt baths on days I had the energy to get in a bath, climbing out was another matter! Walking Stanley to the end of the road, sitting, then walking slowly back. Watching something gentle on the telly. I finished The Good Witch and felt my nervous system finally start to settle. None of this fixed me but it reminded my body that I was on its side.
I found it really scary. When you rest for real, the voice that measures your worth by your output can get louder. The work doesn't disappear. The messages keep arriving. People still need things. For me, surrender meant trusting that Mobilates would not fall apart if I stopped holding it up for a minute. The emails waited. Finances can be sorted later. The website and campaigns will happen when I'm up to it. The retreat went ahead with Team Mob taking over and it was amazing!! A lot of the pressure I felt was just self inflicted.
Now, with the cardiologist’s reassurance that it is safe to start rehabbing gently, as long as I don't exert myself, I am beginning to move again. Not exercising in the old sense. Not WalkFitting to banging music or "beasting" my body with Equipment classes - gosh I miss them! Instead I am choosing soft, slow, small mobilising that keeps my blood pumping and my joints lubricated. Pelvic tilts, shoulder rolls, neck semi circles, deep breathing. Circling my ankles under my blanket. Scrunching up my toes and flexing them open. Very very slightly introducing a tiny bit more each day.
And you probably already know that I find it easier to do things for others than for myself so I've started recording a very gentle recovering from illness or flare series to make sure I keep up with my recovering plan!! Here's one I made earlier:
If you are feeling poorly and reading this in a flare, here are some tiny tips to keep you mobilising gently and not letting everything decondition.
Start small with one thing that says to your body, I am listening. It might be an afternoon snooze with your phone on silent, or a tin of soup as that's all you can be bothered to make, it might be declining a phone call. Small, clear and kind.
Give your energy jobs. Healing is a job. Digestion is a job. Fighting infection is a job. Every email and task you add takes energy from those jobs. When you get used to that idea, it gets easier to say later to things that can wait.
Move like you are giving your body a treat. If you feel yourself bracing, make it smaller. If you notice yourself holding your breath, pause and soften. Choose positions that feel safe. You know we love doing it from bed and that is gorgeous too!
Keep your wins boring. I know that sounds odd especially for me as I love fireworks and excitement! But boring, regular, almost unremarkable things often help the most. Sleeping. Hydration. A bowl of something simple you can manage. A light show on telly that lowers stress instead of poking it.
Ask your future self for a favour. Will this choice today help me tomorrow. Sometimes the answer is yes, rest now. Sometimes the answer is yes, attend the thing because joy matters too, then plan for some recovery after. We can't always get it perfect but we can try!
Notice the pushers in your day. The words just and should are sneaky. If you catch them, you can renegotiate. I will just answer one email becomes I will look at my inbox for two minutes, then close it. Put a timer on it. Stop when it pings. Then MOVE AWAY FROM THAT COMPUTER!!! (That's me shouting at me not you!)
Make surrender and rest active. It is not giving up. It is choosing where your energy goes on purpose. Surrender can include asking for help, batch cancelling non-essentials, telling others I'm not well at the moment. it takes the pressure off you but it also makes your rest time proper rest times where you don't feel guilty as that's counter productive.
Leave space for joy. Yes, chocolate makes this list. Also a chat on the phone with a friend if you can manage that, cuddling your dog, a hot chocolate (yes, I know, that's chocolate again lol), a cheesy romantic channel 5 film. Joy is actually medicine and you deserve space for that too..
When you live with long term conditions, I often say it is like having a full time job. You are trying to connect with a body you have had to ignore. You are trying not to ignore it at the same time. Some days you will make mistakes, we are all human. You are not doing it wrong. It just might take you time to get used to it.
If I could speak to myself like I would a member I would say you are not failing because you need rest. You are not lazy because your body says no. You will build a life that fits you, not the other way around. It will be slower and kinder and it will make space for others too. You will not always be this exhausted. You will still do beautiful things. And the place inside you that knows when to stop is not your enemy. It is your guide.
For now, I am still practising surrender. I am still choosing tiny movements, then letting them go. I am still eating the simple food, taking the bath when I can, walking the dog to the end of the road and sitting before we come home. I am still reminding myself that my worth is not in my output. My body is trying to heal. Da Mob will still be there when I feel up to returning to classes.
And Stanley WILL survive if my mum gives him a bath!!
If this resonates, you are not alone.
In Da Mob we talk about how hard this is all the time. Resting without losing yourself. Moving without overdoing it. Listening to our bodies, then listening again.
None of us get it right or perfect every day. We keep trying. We keep learning.
And when we forget, someone nudges us to surrender for a bit. Let it be. Then, when it is time, we support someone else who has forgotten how to be ill and then be well again.
Mobilates CIC provides inclusive, adapted exercise for people living with long term health conditions, chronic pain, fatigue and disability.
We create safe, welcoming spaces to move, connect and build confidence in what your body CAN do, whether you join a class in person, online, or from your bed. We’re led by lived experience and powered by community. Together, we’re redefining what movement can look like.
💗 Join Da Mob: www.mobilates.com
📧 Get updates: Subscribe to our newsletter for gentle inspiration, community stories, and upcoming events.
Comments